


Hypotheticals

by celebros



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Post-Season/Series 04, Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28247139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celebros/pseuds/celebros
Summary: "Do you ever think about after?"
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 24
Kudos: 70





	Hypotheticals

MARTIN  
Do you ever think about after?

JON  
You know I don't do hypotheticals.

MARTIN  
[A bit annoyed, but also chuckling]  
No, I mean just - _think_. Not, like, about the whole world, just -- do you ever think about us? What we might do?

JON  
Oh. Mm.  
[Awkwardly]  
I, um, I try not to.

MARTIN  
Right. Yeah, okay.

JON  
Why do you ask?

MARTIN  
I don't know, really. I guess I just… it feels like it might help, for there to be something to be looking forward to? But I haven't been able to imagine. Any time I try, it sort of gets tangled up in something else.

Like. Sometimes I think about going back to the cabin, but you said it was -- yeah. So. I guess I don't either.

[It's quiet for a long time.]

I have trouble believing we get to _have_ an ‘after’, to be honest. 

JON  
Oh. So do I. But… [Clears his throat.] I suppose I'd rather hoped that was just me.

MARTIN  
[Contemplatively.]  
I guess it makes sense that you wouldn't. 

JON  
What do you mean?

MARTIN  
Well, not doing hypotheticals… it really isn't just the eye. You've always been very now, haven't you? Not much for dreaming. You're - practical. Concrete.

[Startled.]

Are you --? Jon, what's --? Hey, hey, Jon. Don't--

I'm sorry, I didn't mean… I _like_ that about you. 

JON  
No, I'm sorry, I'm being stupid, it's just… you deserve that.

[His voice cracks.]

Someone who could dream for you. 

MARTIN  
[Hard, angry]  
Don't say that.

JON  
But it's how I feel. I can’t lie to you.

You should know, Martin. I want you to have good things. Even if I --

MARTIN  
You don't get to tell me you're not enough. 

[A long quiet. Martin sniffles. Jon sighs.]

JON  
Come here.

[Shuffling.]

There you are. Better?

MARTIN  
Mm.

It's just. I don't like you thinking badly of yourself.

JON  
I know you don't. 

MARTIN  
You're so --

JON  
[overlapping] I know.

[Quiet.]

MARTIN  
What about before?

JON  
What?

MARTIN  
Before… all of this happened. Did you ever imagine things, then?

JON  
Oh.

[Soft, wounded noise]

Oh, Martin. I did. I-- I had forgotten.

[Wondering]

How could I--?

MARTIN  
Not so hard to believe, is it?

JON  
It is, actually. 

MARTIN  
Will you tell me? You don't have to, but--

JON  
I think I owe you that much. 

[Martin makes a sound of negation. Jon chuckles.]

No, it's -- I just, I think it's going to hurt. Because it's not -- it's all so different now.

I should have told you then.

MARTIN  
Tell me.

JON  
[Long, long quiet. When he speaks again, he pronounces each syllable carefully, lovingly.]

Jonathan Blackwood.

I rather liked the way it sounded.

[Inhales sharply.]  
It was silly, of course, I --

MARTIN  
No, it wasn't. 

JON  
Please don't cry.

MARTIN  
Shut up.

JON  
I thought of asking you. I thought -- I thought you would like to be asked. I knew I wasn't exactly demonstrative, I thought it would be a good gesture. To make sure you knew that I - reciprocated. That I wasn't just… going along with it.

I wanted something carved. I imagined -- if you got lost, something you couldn't deny, something a bit rough edges to remind you of me. Silver, maybe.

And if you wanted me to have one I could -- maybe on a chain 'round my neck? I don't think I could, on my hands, although if it was important to you I thought maybe a tattoo. 

MARTIN  
[Choking sob-laugh.]  
A tattoo?

JON  
Well, if you wanted, I didn't know. I would have.

Do you -- Should I go on?

[Martin must nod, because -- ]

I thought about getting a flat together. I pictured writing our names on the lease and I --

It was -- that night. Third night in the cabin. You had come back late, I had the fire going, and you'd only been gone an hour or so but I'd missed you terribly, and I'd worried. And then I was embarrassed. Like I was presuming something. And you said, "Bed?" like it was a normal thing, like this was our normal life, and I --

Well. You remember. 

MARTIN  
Well, yeah, but …

JON  
What?

MARTIN  
There's something … sort of sweet about hearing you tell it. The little details you remember.

JON  
Really? A-all right, I suppose, I --

Well.

I said that maybe I’d just kip on the sofa. And you just looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in the world and said, "Don't do that," and I knew you didn't just mean the sofa. So I said, "I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time with --" and you came over and tugged me to my feet and just --

Just -- held me.

And you said, "Whatever it is that you want, Jon, that's what I want too." And you sort of swayed, like we were dancing, and I just -- I pulled back and looked at you -- and you were so soft and kind and yourself --

And I said, "How about this?" and kissed you.

MARTIN  
Oh no no. You didn't kiss me. You melted. Your whole body just up and melted against me. All warm from the fire and you had the blanket on your shoulders and you wrapped me up and you -- you saw me. And you knew me, all through me, and you wanted me not despite but because of, and I --

JON  
Well, I thought it was a kiss, but I'm not the poet, I suppose. 

MARTIN  
Shut it.

JON  
And then you took me to bed.

MARTIN  
Okay, yes, I did.

JON  
And you laid me down and we kissed and curled 'round each other and then you dozed off and I… spent some time dreaming.

MARTIN  
You doodled my name in the composition notebook of your mind. 

JON  
I absolutely did.

[Softly.] You were sleeping. In my arms. And I couldn't -- I couldn't conceive of ever letting you go.

[Fabric rustling.]

MARTIN  
Did you think about how you would ask me?

JON  
I … no, I hadn't gotten that far. I suppose I probably would have carried the ring around and you would have found it in my jacket pocket before I found the perfect moment. 

MARTIN  
That does sound like us.

JON  
Would you have pretended not to know?

MARTIN  
I'm pretty rubbish at keeping secrets from you. 

JON  
Ah. Right. 

MARTIN  
I mean, I always was. I don't just mean because you're --

JON  
[Overlapping]  
Yes, fair. 

MARTIN  
So probably I'd have kept it a secret a few days and then exploded about it sometime inconvenient.

JON  
Oh, gold star. That is exactly what you would have done. 

MARTIN  
Oi!

JON  
You said it! I just agreed!

MARTIN  
[Grumbles]  
So. Then we'd have been preoccupied with whatever made it inconvenient and when we were done we'd be exhausted and probably filthy and terrible and you would have sort of - cupped my cheek, like, and kissed me.

JON  
Yes.

MARTIN  
And said, 'Well, how about it, then?'

JON  
I would not -- Martin, how dare --

MARTIN  
Well, then, tell me. How would you have done it?

JON  
Cupped your cheek, like so.

MARTIN  
Mm-hm.

JON  
Kissed you, but not some perfunctory peck. Proper kissed you.

[Beat]

MARTIN  
Mmm.

JON  
[Hoarsely]  
Quite.

MARTIN  
And?

JON  
Martin. 

MARTIN  
Yes, Jon?

JON  
You are my anchor and my reason. You are the best of me. You have waited for me, and believed in me, and I find that I want to tie myself to you in all ways. Here and now, at the end of the world and beyond, but also in every mundane moment, in tea and ink and paperwork.

I want to banish the fog forever. I want to be with you, to be yours and only yours, where no cold can touch us and no eyes can see us.

So what do you say, Martin Blackwood? Will you do me the honor of consenting to be my spouse?

MARTIN  
Jon, are you --?

JON  
Yes.

MARTIN  
Then yes. Yes, of course I will. Of course I do.

JON  
I don't have a ring.

MARTIN  
I don't care.

[Quiet. Then, Martin laughs.]

MARTIN  
And you said you don't do hypotheticals.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to CompostWitch for the beta! Any mistakes are my own.
> 
> hi TMA fandom I'm new and I'm sure I love these soft fluffy queerios. tdoylekovich on discord.
> 
> Trekfam, okay yes now I'll get back to the next chapter of "one equal temper" I promise it's almost done I just. These boys.


End file.
